Ben and Esther R Lovers Here

Grace Builders

by: Cec Murphey (co-author of our book Choosing To Live)

"Since you came, Mr. Murphey, our church has lost some of its dignity," Dorothy said as she served me tea from an ornate silver pot resting on a silver tray. And with the next breath she asked, "Milk or sugar, Mr. Murphey?"

"One lump, please," and I reached for the cup.

"We had such—such quiet dignity before you came. I don't want to hurt your feelings in telling you all of this. But…"

I had been the pastor of the church less than four months before she and her two sisters invited me to tea. For the next forty minutes the three of them tried to help me see the error of my ways. They didn't seem interested that we had added new members or that attendance by members had increased. Their concern was the loss of decorum.

Dorothy smiled as she offered me a cookie from a silver plate. "And another thing…" She looked at a pad of paper on which she and her sisters had written a number of items.

As I walked out of the house, depression weighted me down. Their criticism hurt. I sat in my car for several minutes and prayed in deep anguish. By the end of the day, however, I had grasped one significant fact about those three sisters. They were God's grace builders in my life.
Since that I've realized that every church, company, and neighborhood has at least one grace builder. They serve a divine purpose: They teach us invaluable lessons about patience and longsuffering. They force us to grow spiritually. Grace builders drive us to pray more fervently and to scrutinize our motives. Maybe they do more for us than all the sweet, kind, and encouraging people we encounter.

Grace builders: I've known many of them. Like Johnny. He pats me on the back and sounds friendly. He makes everything into a joke so that means I can't get angry—not even when he insults me. Even when he ridicules me. I'm not paranoid; I don't feel persecuted. But I have enough sense to know when a person insults me even though hiding behind jokes and light-hearted humor.

For the past 25 years I've been a full-time writer and I haven't escaped those grace builders. They email to remind me that they discovered a misspelled word on page 197 of my latest book (as if I yearned to know that or could do anything about it once the book is in print). Or one woman said, "You're a decent writer, not as good as _____."

We all have our grace builders. Our occupation doesn't matter. And, as much as I hate to admit it, they make life miserable enough for us that we pray and realize how much we have to depend on God's help. They serve a practical, spiritual function.

I don't like the grace builders in my life. I try to avoid some of them as much as possible. With others, I grit my teeth and face them. When I think of the grace builders at work in my life I have several words to describe them: They're obnoxious, self-centered, opinionated, and demanding. Without them I could accomplish more, and feel better about life and—or could I?
Probably not: They serve a practical purpose: They are God's gifts to make us grow. And we all have them.

Which makes me wonder: Whose grace builder am I?

True Love

LOVE Makes Us Humble & Thankful to God

by Esther

Being with my family in California last weekend, I was filled with joy to see them all and yet a bit sad without my mom around on my dad's 80'th birthday.

This reminds me when I was in grade school while my dad was assigned to Silang, Cavite, in the Philippines. We thought our presence was not that welcomed for being an Adventist in a Catholic community.

I will always remember one evening when my dad went on to his duty to share the gospel and we were advised by others to stay home with mom and not to open the door. That was the first time I felt really so scared in my life. Suddenly, a knock on the door. Mom immediately gathered us together, me and my four other brothers & sisters in a room, hugged us tightly, prayed, stayed quiet & still. It was a long & frightful evening until dad arrived.

Although mom finished only 3rd grade in schooling, she showed true love. A love that came natural, and something one can't learn going to school. She also showed love by giving total support to a life partner for doing God's work, and at the same time offering care & protection to her family.

"..for better & for worse, In sickness & in health."

A few months ago, we learned Ren was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I remember 4 years ago he came to visit my mom who was also diagnosed with stomach cancer. As a human being's first reaction, "too young," I felt very sad and again it comes back to my own personal journey. Then you pray for strength and hope & faith be strengthened.

He is a very nice and sweet "kid" to me and his spirits good. He is determined to fight on with the help of God, his family & close friends. I felt good to get a big hug from him. He also remembers the "eggrolls" he ate when he visited our home while going to school with our youngest son.

He & Jes planned to tie the knot this year in May but decided to do so sooner this January. As mentioned by our son, when Jes' turn came to repeat the vows, there was a long long pause (almost 5 minutes) for Jes was in tears. Emotional tears shed and shared by everyone in the room. What an expression of true love!

Love & Forgive

Hadasha found out her husband had a daughter from another woman. Naturally, human madness, bitter tears, distrust & pain followed but because of true love & forgiveness the couple are still happily married today. It takes two to work things out. She is taking extra mile by supporting Sam the husband with his ministry, providing bibles, literatures to medical teams for crusades & coaching singers. Their children, K and S happily accepted their "other sister."

Despite trials that still come in our daily lives, loving & forgiving keep us humble and closer to each other through God's own forgiveness.

Happy Valentines Day to you all, folks.

Healthy thoughts: Are we considered healthy person when we eat only healthy foods, regular on our exercise, getting enough sunlight & fresh air, getting enough sleep and rest? To me, adding this recipe: joy, peace, love and forgiveness makes one healthier and wealthier person.

(Note: Our wedding reception picture taken more than 30 years ago. Heart motiff made by cousin, Prescy Tangunan-Carr).

Holiday Greetings to All

Rainbow after the storm ...
can't capture the beauty despite destruction & havoc. Trees were down & took days to clear up the surroundings ...

The ending of each year seems to be the busiest. What makes the rainbow so beautiful? The different colors. We are all different ... how we spend the holidays. But like the rainbow, we are all beautiful in God's sight.

Though Christmas is one of the busiest days of the year ... not just decorating, shopping & partying, but thinking (more) of our loved ones & friends. This is also the best time of the year remembering those who are less fortunate.

What a wonderful time of the year and may it always be the same every day this coming New Year and many more years to come. Enjoy while we have life.

Happy Holidays to you all.

Tips for a healthier winter:

Eucalyptus oil(click) - Steam or humidifier with Eucalyptus oil (helps to control spread of airborne germs).
Immune Booster drink - Garlic, onion, honey, lemon, cayenne, ginger with hot water. Drink twice (2) a day.

Notes: We thank the Lord for these natural remedies. We were able to fight the flu for the past 12 years.

Marion County was hit by a big storm last summer causing a death, fallen trees and flooding. A favorite tree behind our place is now gone. Early morning and a day after the storm, a rainbow (above picture) showed up while we were having deep breathing exercises. What a beautiful promise in the sky ... made us smile :)

Qoute: "Our Father in heaven is the source of life, of wisdom & of joy. In nature itself are messages of hope & comfort. There are flowers upon the thistles & the thorns covered with roses." Steps to Christ, E.G. White.

Our eucalyptus planted early spring thriving. First "winter storm" of 2007.

Chris, Brandon and a Special Friend

Pain, Patience & Peace = "JOY"


Chris broke the same leg that he broke six (6) months ago, the day before Thanksgiving. Felt so bad for him. We visited Chris a few days after surgery and glad to see him smiling and in good spirits ... showing us how he could move his leg.

I felt like he is an encouragement to me more than I was to him, ... can't imagine breaking the same leg the same year.

Brandon, Chris' hospital roommate, who is in his early twenties inspired us after saying to Ben, "I know when a Christian comes in the room." Music to our ears.

Brandon fell thirty (30) feet in a hunting accident, but survived! Surprisingly, he was very open about his experience of drifting away from God and now wanted to be closer to Him and wanting so much to be forgiven. Fortunately, Chris is a good Christian who loves God. After smiles and exchanges of pleasantries, we prayed with the two guys.

We felt hopeful the two had a wonderful time talking about God, His love and His forgiveness. A common saying, "there's a reason for anything that comes to our lives," and now we understand. Both were discharged home and are doing fine.

I have a very special friend that I know prays everyday. For so many years, I had been wanting to ask about her beautiful daughter, who was a classmate of my son.

Finally yesterday, I asked about her!

God really do answer prayers, and it surely made my day when she told me that she is so excited & happy, she will see her daughter this coming holiday, after not seeing her for twelve (12) years.

It's a real "JOY to the World!"

*******
Wintry health tips: "Lazy" to make your bed in the morning? It is ok. Sometimes we leave our blankets & beddings undone to (click)"aerate." Crack your windows before going to bed but avoid the cold draft.

Qoute: "Guilt is a heavy burden to carry. God wants us to cast all our cares upon Him, for He carries us upon His heart." Ministry of Healing, E. G. White.

Bitter "Sweet"

by Esther:
Every year I tried to add to my "veggie" garden bitter melon. Since we had a very unusual weather, only three (3) out of twelve (12) seeds survived and my neighbor friend, seven out of twelve.

Although my plants bear only few fruits we had a super-abundance of "ampalaya" leaves to get us by, more than enough for us and much to share with friends. This made me happy and appreciate God's "green-leafy" blessings.

Because my neighbor friend planted the seeds early in the season her plants had more fruits, appearing & looking healthier compared to my plants. I felt very happy for her ... every time I do my daily brisk walks, I pass by her place to admire her fast growing plants.

There were times I also invited other friends to see J's bitter melon (bitter gourd or ampalaya) plants without her knowing it. They too shared my admiration for the green leafy vine with lots of flowers & fruits. But there was one "special" fruit that I really liked so much, a healthy looking green bitter melon that was getting bigger & bigger every day.

At one time, a friend asked me if J shared some of her bitter melons, and I told her jokingly, "... unfortunately, not yet." Well, she said that she can pick the "special" fruit while J was out on a weekend. I told her not to do such a thing. For weeks, it became a topic of our conversations. Then she said, she herself would definitely pick it if I won't do it, soon. She sounded really serious. Again, I told her not to do so and added, "... pray she'll share!"

The following day, J came knocking at our patio door and I saw a bitter melon in her hand. With a sweet smile she handed it to me. Curiously, I visited her garden the following day when she was gone. True to my suspicion, I was amazed that the bitter melon that I was admiring most was the one she gave me. That's really, really special! I immediately called my friend and told her, J shared the bitter melon and amazingly, it was the fruit that we were both admiring for a long time. I said, "... see, good things happen to those who patiently wait! "

Cooked the bitter melon mixed with eggplant, onions, garlic, tomato, herbs and bitter melon leaves from our garden (vegetable pinakbet). Also added tofu. Shared the food with our American friends.

Bitter melon loves rich, well drained soil in full sun minimum temperature of 60 Fahrenheit. The fruits resemble a cucumber with bumps. It is a medicinal herb food plant common in Asia, India, Africa and the Caribbean. The fruit and leaves are good for sour and bitter flavor. When growing up, didn't really like the taste but because of its medicinal value I started to love it. It is used to reduce fever, diuretic and to remove toxins from the system (kidney & liver cleanse).

Ben didn't like eating bitter melon when he was growing up, either. But for the last eleven years I've added bitter melon with blanched leaves (natural healing remedies) in his food to boost his immune system. Since he is not taking any medicines or supplements, I have found out it helps keep his hemoglobin normal. It also helps regulate my blood sugar since there are many in my family that are diabetics.

The summer turned out to be a great one. J shared lot's of bitter melon, once a week, until the warm weather ended and the cool nights started. In return, I gave her tomatoes, eggplants, squash, peppers, sweet yam (camote tops), herbs, and brussels sprout. From the abundance of our garden, the more we shared to others, the more we received. What a great and "sweet" blessing!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Need fiber with your thanksgiving meal?

flax seeds (fresh)
sunflower seeds (raw)
dry coconut flakes

Grind equal servings with coffee grinder, sprinkle over salad, rice or baked potato. For healthier and better effect, use it immediately.

1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous, love does not...."

The Blue Pitcher ... Anna's Wish

The Blue Pitcher, ... "Where did you get it?"
--- by Esther

The search of a blue water pitcher "set" reminded me of humility that brought tears, and sweet smiles as it left precious memories to many ... a wish of a dying friend, loving wife & a devoted mother.

Hours before her last breath, a Blue Pitcher set was found & delivered to her bed side. What a perfect example of timing bringing honor & glory to God.

Tuesday Oct.9, seemed to be a very long day, patiently waiting for Ben to come home from the operating room so we can attend a funeral service. A couple of days before, we planned to be there but due to Ben's work, it may be up in the air whether we'll make it or not. I prepared myself to accept the "will of God."

Fortunately, we were able to attend the last few moments of the graveside service (three "sundowns" later) and immediately after that, to associate with the people, friends and relatives of Anna, who came from all over town & other surrounding states. It was also a moment to share and witness for Him.

She was laid to rest separated for now from loved ones and friends until that great "resurrection day."

There were numerous people and I was surprised (shocked) to hear this question from many we met, "Where did you get it?" I found out later that the story of the Blue Pitcher was mentioned by the preacher during the funeral service.

September 18, Anna and her husband, Milo were told that there was nothing more that could be done with her cancer. They left the doctor's office with a supporting "soft collar" brace and medications to ease the progressively worsening neck pain. (Ben broke the news to me after talking with Anna’s doctor, the cancer had already destroyed the neck bones). Luckily, Ben was assigned to cover a hospital close to their home, we were able to visit her more often.

Anna was always happy full of sweet smiles while recovering so well from breast cancer until she had a "buggy" accident (bringing her daughter to a dentist) that affected her neck and one leg. I was hoping and praying Anna will be healed. But God knows best.

(... Anna's accident reminds me of a car wreck in a busy icy highway, when Ben was recovering from cancer surgery. Car totaled, Ben broke one of his front tooth, wounded his forehead and unconscious for a short period of time. Kept telling him, “you survived the cancer please don’t die now.” While pulling him out of the car the engine started emitting smoke. We ended staying overnight in a hospital and found out the following day there were two deaths on the other side of the road that night).

While family members and friends taking their time saying goodbyes I was occupied with a request that I didn't take seriously at first. Anna asked me to find a "Blue Pitcher."

While searching for the pitcher I stayed focused asking God to help, to take away the "Why's" out of my vocabulary. The first pitcher set I found (with help from my daughter & her friend), was nice and Anna "smiled" when the package was unwrapped, ... I didn’t feel the real satisfaction, though. I asked Ben to check the internet. He found a nice pitcher but without the glasses. Wednesday, Oct. 3, we delivered the pitcher. With a glint in her eyes, she said, "Please keep trying," after mentioning to her that I was still trying to find the rest of the set.

I was about to leave after giving instructions to one of the sisters to give her water after drinking the fruit smoothie I brought when she spoke,"I may have some now." A chance to give her a drink personally. After asking for "more" the third time her sister and I looked at each other. Saw her eyes red, and felt at that time, she wanted so much to stay alive and well. Her mind clear in spite of her medications, her "spirit was willing" but her body was now too weak. Also thought about the scripture..."believing in Him having the living water which is Christ we will never thirst," kept thinking and asking God to give me strength before I got emotional. After leaving her room I could no longer hold my tears. I went out to the car to tell Ben what happened.

Then I was reminded of a voice message I received earlier that day from someone who knew what I was looking for, "Esther, would like to know if you have found the set you are looking for. Come when you can." On our way home I asked Ben to change route for I wanted to check it out.

As the friend's living room door opened. I immediately saw the blue set. I was shocked and overwhelmed and whispered to myself, "they are so beautiful." Before I could say a word, our friend was apologizing for not letting me know earlier that she had it, the first time I mentioned what I was looking for. She added, "I know we all can die anytime but right now we are in a better position than Anna. You may have them and give it to her.” I was speechless but very grateful, and now tears running down my cheeks. I know the set is a family treasure. At first I can't accept but her sincere voice and after discussions about Christ's crucifixion and the two man at the cross, softened and touched my heart.

Although we have different beliefs in worship, we are not different in our faith in God. Glad to know that she, too knows that Anna lived a good Christian life. (reminds me of what Ben and I witnessed ... family together praying and giving thanks to God before and after meals at Anna’s home).

I asked how much it cost to pay for the set. It sure brought back sweet smiles and tears when she said, "I don't need the money but please promise this is just between you and I. Never crossed my mind this Blue Pitcher set will evoke attention to many of Anna's relatives & friends, making them ask the question, "Where did you get it.?

Thursday, the following day I planned to deliver the set. Unfortunately the first call to a friend, no answer. A call to another friend, her car had a flat tire. Well, have decided it was a stay home for me.

Friday, Ben and I planned to do some cleaning and mowing of the lawn at the Center in preparation for a health lecture on Sunday. But then, we decided to visit Anna to deliver the set instead of waiting 'till Monday.

At her home, I was let in by one of her sisters who were there helping out. I found many more people in the rooms. In one room all ladies, sisters, relatives and daughters were present. Milo met me and escorted me to where Anna was where two gentleman were also reading. As usual it felt good exchanging smiles with Anna.

. . I made it a bit dramatic taking out from the bag the glasses one at a time, placed them on top of the bed in a circle. Once I took out the "Blue Pitcher" Anna suddenly opened her eyes wide and her jaw dropped and said, "Haa!” She looked very happy and couldn't believe it! Everyone in the room shared with her joy and reacted with a smile. A special & precious moment to me that will be long remembered.

Never thought that was the last time I will see Anna smile. Milo followed me out of the room and told me that Anna would like to pay for the set. How could I accept money from a dying person especially a priceless gift from the heart? I went back to the room and said, "Anna, I understand that you want to pay, how about we exchange with honey, later?"

We both smiled. "Thank you, Esther, ok," were her last words to me. I squeezed her right foot and said, "I will see you again."

Saturday morning Oct. 6 around 8:23 AM, I woke up with an unusual tightness of my chest. I started my morning exercise by jumping up and down trying to shake the blood in my system, told Ben I was feeling discomfort in my chest. Checked my pulse it was good, strong and regular. After 10-15 minutes it was gone. Around 11:30 AM a phone call came, and it was about Anna. At 8:50 AM, she rested in peace. Silence was our first reaction. We were also at peace. It took a while for tears to fall. Our first conversation was about the "Blue Pitcher" set she waited for. Someday we will find out the “whys” she wanted the pitcher badly and glad we were instrumental in finding it for her.

Yes, there was peace among friends and family for having the time to say goodbyes and peace for Anna who had time to prepare herself. It's hard to imagine how she was feeling before she died. A few weeks before, she related to me an experience she had witnessed a month before about attending a funeral in Indiana. She mentioned to me with tears in her eyes how emotional for her to see young children crying on the death of their father. Now she herself was leaving her children, and two other young ones, Rosie (5) and Wilma (3).

Rosie, though she speaks German and I with strong Filipino accent we were able to communicate through smiles and actions. She was always ready to help unload groceries and then load the car with the previously used bottles I bring for her mom: immune booster juice and strawberry, blueberry, banana with vanilla soy milk and honey smoothie, one of Anna’s favorites. Though our visits were always short ones, I know Rosie will also remember the time spent with her mom, who taught her how to count pennies laid out on a long table in their living room.

The experience left me a lot of good valuable lessons in our friendship with Anna & her Amish family. Doing the best we can and leaving the rest to God with true faith. Love, patience, and even with physical, emotional discomfort to always remember to smile .

At the funeral someone had mentioned to me, "It's good to have friends." Through the water pitcher, to me it was a miracle, for she left a token that many will be reminded of true friendship, of true courage, love and faith in God. It reminded me of a song when I was a child, ”Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face and the things of this earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace."

Anna left her daughters a tangible gift to be remembered by, but the treasures she left behind being a sweet mom, devoted wife (always saying how good the husband is to her) and friend., and the memory of true faith believing in God not only by words but with actions. Up to the last minute she did what she believed. A peaceful way to rest and sleep without being hooked to different tubes and machines. The natural simple ways with God.

We will miss Anna, but God desire us to use every opportunity to witness. We are happy to be able to share our beliefs, health literatures & books to her other friends and relatives. The question, "Where did you get it?" still lingers, but true to our friend's request, I did not tell them where the "Blue Pitcher" set came from.

A Follow-up: We visited them to find out how they are doing. According to Kadie, before breathing her last breath, Anna asked Milo for a drink of water.

Milo said that it is very hard for him to fill the "emptiness" but his children are taking it better than him.

A letter from a relative: "Milo & her children are very lonesome for her by now. They said Rosie has tears in church usually. My heart aches for them. Here is a little prayer of her (Anna) own that she said over & over the last weeks: 'Jesus, Jesus come in here, and take me in your heavenly home'."

The Amish preacher said at the funeral: "... Anna wanted to give her daughters some dishes yet. So she said something to her FRIENDS, and you looked and found some, which pleased her."

Juice, Immune Booster:

2 carrots (stick)

1 apple

1 lemon (peeled)

1 ginger (thumb size)


"Men of stamina are wanted men who will not wait to have their way smoothed and every obstacle removed, men who will inspire with fresh zeal the flagging efforts of dispirited workers, men whose hearts are warm with Christian love and whose hands are strong to do the Master's work." Ministry of Healing, Development & Services.