Grace Builders

by: Cec Murphey (co-author of our book Choosing To Live)

"Since you came, Mr. Murphey, our church has lost some of its dignity," Dorothy said as she served me tea from an ornate silver pot resting on a silver tray. And with the next breath she asked, "Milk or sugar, Mr. Murphey?"

"One lump, please," and I reached for the cup.

"We had such—such quiet dignity before you came. I don't want to hurt your feelings in telling you all of this. But…"

I had been the pastor of the church less than four months before she and her two sisters invited me to tea. For the next forty minutes the three of them tried to help me see the error of my ways. They didn't seem interested that we had added new members or that attendance by members had increased. Their concern was the loss of decorum.

Dorothy smiled as she offered me a cookie from a silver plate. "And another thing…" She looked at a pad of paper on which she and her sisters had written a number of items.

As I walked out of the house, depression weighted me down. Their criticism hurt. I sat in my car for several minutes and prayed in deep anguish. By the end of the day, however, I had grasped one significant fact about those three sisters. They were God's grace builders in my life.
Since that I've realized that every church, company, and neighborhood has at least one grace builder. They serve a divine purpose: They teach us invaluable lessons about patience and longsuffering. They force us to grow spiritually. Grace builders drive us to pray more fervently and to scrutinize our motives. Maybe they do more for us than all the sweet, kind, and encouraging people we encounter.

Grace builders: I've known many of them. Like Johnny. He pats me on the back and sounds friendly. He makes everything into a joke so that means I can't get angry—not even when he insults me. Even when he ridicules me. I'm not paranoid; I don't feel persecuted. But I have enough sense to know when a person insults me even though hiding behind jokes and light-hearted humor.

For the past 25 years I've been a full-time writer and I haven't escaped those grace builders. They email to remind me that they discovered a misspelled word on page 197 of my latest book (as if I yearned to know that or could do anything about it once the book is in print). Or one woman said, "You're a decent writer, not as good as _____."

We all have our grace builders. Our occupation doesn't matter. And, as much as I hate to admit it, they make life miserable enough for us that we pray and realize how much we have to depend on God's help. They serve a practical, spiritual function.

I don't like the grace builders in my life. I try to avoid some of them as much as possible. With others, I grit my teeth and face them. When I think of the grace builders at work in my life I have several words to describe them: They're obnoxious, self-centered, opinionated, and demanding. Without them I could accomplish more, and feel better about life and—or could I?
Probably not: They serve a practical purpose: They are God's gifts to make us grow. And we all have them.

Which makes me wonder: Whose grace builder am I?

True Love

LOVE Makes Us Humble & Thankful to God

by Esther

Being with my family in California last weekend, I was filled with joy to see them all and yet a bit sad without my mom around on my dad's 80'th birthday.

This reminds me when I was in grade school while my dad was assigned to Silang, Cavite, in the Philippines. We thought our presence was not that welcomed for being an Adventist in a Catholic community.

I will always remember one evening when my dad went on to his duty to share the gospel and we were advised by others to stay home with mom and not to open the door. That was the first time I felt really so scared in my life. Suddenly, a knock on the door. Mom immediately gathered us together, me and my four other brothers & sisters in a room, hugged us tightly, prayed, stayed quiet & still. It was a long & frightful evening until dad arrived.

Although mom finished only 3rd grade in schooling, she showed true love. A love that came natural, and something one can't learn going to school. She also showed love by giving total support to a life partner for doing God's work, and at the same time offering care & protection to her family.

"..for better & for worse, In sickness & in health."

A few months ago, we learned Ren was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I remember 4 years ago he came to visit my mom who was also diagnosed with stomach cancer. As a human being's first reaction, "too young," I felt very sad and again it comes back to my own personal journey. Then you pray for strength and hope & faith be strengthened.

He is a very nice and sweet "kid" to me and his spirits good. He is determined to fight on with the help of God, his family & close friends. I felt good to get a big hug from him. He also remembers the "eggrolls" he ate when he visited our home while going to school with our youngest son.

He & Jes planned to tie the knot this year in May but decided to do so sooner this January. As mentioned by our son, when Jes' turn came to repeat the vows, there was a long long pause (almost 5 minutes) for Jes was in tears. Emotional tears shed and shared by everyone in the room. What an expression of true love!

Love & Forgive

Hadasha found out her husband had a daughter from another woman. Naturally, human madness, bitter tears, distrust & pain followed but because of true love & forgiveness the couple are still happily married today. It takes two to work things out. She is taking extra mile by supporting Sam the husband with his ministry, providing bibles, literatures to medical teams for crusades & coaching singers. Their children, K and S happily accepted their "other sister."

Despite trials that still come in our daily lives, loving & forgiving keep us humble and closer to each other through God's own forgiveness.

Happy Valentines Day to you all, folks.

Healthy thoughts: Are we considered healthy person when we eat only healthy foods, regular on our exercise, getting enough sunlight & fresh air, getting enough sleep and rest? To me, adding this recipe: joy, peace, love and forgiveness makes one healthier and wealthier person.

(Note: Our wedding reception picture taken more than 30 years ago. Heart motiff made by cousin, Prescy Tangunan-Carr).